top of page
Glyn Hupalo

Choosing the Right Therapist for you: A Comprehensive Guide to Finding Your Ideal Counsellor

Updated: Jul 23, 2024

Therapy Session

A Little Side Note Before We Begin


Therapy encompasses various names and spellings, including counselling, counseling, talk therapy, and psychotherapy. For the purposes of this article, I will use the terms "therapy" and "therapist" to encompass all these variations.


During my daily browsing of Reddit, I’ve noticed that the Therapy subreddit regularly contains a disturbingly large number of posts about questionable experiences people have had with their therapists. Quite often these posts are in the form of a question to determine whether what they have experienced is normal or not. This made me realise that while more and more people are seeking therapy these days, it’s still a topic many aren’t comfortable discussing openly. As a result, people might not know what to expect from therapy or what behaviours are unacceptable from a therapist.


As a therapist myself, it shocks me to read that so many therapists appear to be behaving unethically despite our extensive training and professional codes of ethics providing guidance on what is and isn’t acceptable. Besides fuelling preexisting negative ideas people have about therapy, I am also concerned that people seeking therapy are often in a vulnerable place, and encountering unethical therapists can exacerbate their issues rather than support them. This can discourage people from seeking the help they need in the future. 


So in an effort to encourage people to continue seeking therapy, this article aims to guide readers through the process of choosing a suitable therapist by highlighting a few key considerations such as qualifications, therapeutic approach and pricing, as well as listing a few red flags to watch out for. I hope that it will address common concerns people have about therapy and provide practical advice to help individuals make informed decisions about seeking therapeutic support.


Therapy Session

What to Expect from a Therapy Session


For newcomers to therapy, I feel it's essential that you understand what typically happens in a therapy session before showing up to your first one. However, it's worth noting that therapy varies widely among therapists, and each session may differ in approach and style. The following is simply a generalised overview to give you a rough idea of what you might expect. With that said, in a therapy session, you can expect a confidential and supportive environment where you can talk openly about your concerns. Your therapist should listen, ask questions, and help you explore your thoughts and feelings. They might use various techniques and methods to help you gain insights and develop coping strategies. The goal is to create a collaborative space where you feel heard and understood, and where you can work towards your personal goals.


Examining Chess Pieces

What to Consider when Choosing a Therapist


When considering which therapist to choose, it's crucial to weigh several key factors to ensure you find the right fit. Understanding these factors will help you make an informed decision when selecting a therapist who can provide the support and environment you need for effective therapy sessions. The following are just a few of the things you may wish to consider when searching for the ideal therapist for you.



Certificates

Qualifications and Professional Membership


When choosing a therapist, it’s essential to consider their qualifications and professional memberships. While qualifications aren’t a definitive indicator of a therapist's level of competence, and a therapist with a PhD and extensive experience has the same potential to act unethically as someone with a basic diploma, they do indicate that the person has received some form of supervised training or knowledge about how to effectively create a safe and confidential space for you to explore your issues.


Surprisingly, not all countries require specific training or professional membership for someone to call themselves a therapist. As a result, you can find people who’ve been told they give great advice or resonate with the contents of a self-help book advertising themselves as a therapist and providing well-intentioned but often unprofessional therapy. 


Similarly, I have seen courses which claim to teach you everything you need to start practising as a therapist over the course of a weekend. While I don’t expect you to read up on the required qualifications to practise as a therapist in your country, I will suggest that when researching potential therapists to work with you ensure that they’ve completed a qualification that ran for at least a year and required the students to complete practical supervised therapy sessions during the course of their study.  


In addition to possessing qualifications, choosing a therapist registered with a professional body is usually safer, as they somewhat ensure the therapist’s competence by requiring them to possess a certain level of training and experience to gain professional registration. Therapists registered with professional bodies are also required to uphold a strict code of ethics. Failing to do so could mean their registration and ability to practice is revoked if their governing body receives any reports they are behaving inappropriately. 


With that said, unregistered therapists aren’t necessarily bad. Many highly effective therapists possess university level qualifications but for one reason or another do not apply for professional registration. Lack of professional registration is not a reason to avoid working with a therapist, it’s more of a consideration to keep in mind when choosing one, as if there are any issues during your sessions being unregistered means they are not held to the same level of accountability that comes with professional registration.



Stack of Books

Personal Philosophy & Methods 


When selecting a therapist, it's crucial to consider not only their qualifications but also their personal philosophy and therapeutic methods. A therapist's personal philosophy influences how they approach therapy and interact with clients, shaping the therapeutic environment and relationship. Therefore, it’s important to choose a therapist whose personal philosophy aligns with your needs, beliefs and desired outcomes for therapy, otherwise you may find yourself at odds with the therapeutic process, which in turn will hinder your progress and comfort in sessions. 


Similarly, knowing a potential therapist's methods is important as they encompass the techniques and modalities they use during sessions. Don’t get me wrong, it can be incredibly daunting and overwhelming navigating the diverse array of therapeutic methods that exist. Especially when each therapist typically employs distinct approaches and techniques, ranging from cognitive-behavioural therapies to mindfulness practices and psychodynamic methods. 


My suggestion to best prepare yourself would be to do a little research before booking a therapy session. Taking the time to familiarise yourself with the methods your potential therapist employs can provide clarity on how they conduct sessions and whether their approach aligns with your preferences and comfort level. This proactive step ensures that you enter therapy with a clear understanding of what to expect, enhancing the likelihood of a productive and supportive therapeutic experience.


Ask an Expert Cube

Areas of Specialisation


Beyond personal philosophy and methods there is also the question of whether you are better choosing a therapist with an area of specialisation or a generalist. While specialists offer focused expertise in specific issues like trauma, addiction, or family therapy, it’s important to highlight that all therapists regardless of specialisation receive comprehensive training to address a wide spectrum of mental health challenges. Therefore, opting for a specialist can be advantageous when dealing with complex or specialised concerns, as their in-depth knowledge can provide targeted interventions. However, it's essential to note that a therapist's specialisation may also restrict the range of therapeutic techniques they employ, potentially limiting the flexibility needed to tailor therapy to your unique circumstances. In this case, a skilled generalist may prove to be a better fit for you, due to their ability to be able to integrate various therapeutic approaches ensuring a holistic and personalised treatment plan.


Man listening on video call

Listening and Presence


I would like to preface the following section with the message that many of the following suggestions about a potential therapist's ability to listen and be present cannot be followed without interacting with the therapist in some way. Therefore, it is my suggestion that you try to find potential therapists that offer an initial consultation. These consultations are often free of charge, short in length, and obligation free, providing you with the perfect opportunity to assess your potential therapists listening and presence skills. 


In my opinion, a good therapist embodies several key qualities that contribute to a supportive and effective therapeutic relationship. Firstly, they actively listen to you, demonstrating genuine interest and attentiveness to your concerns. This involves not just hearing your words but also understanding the underlying emotions and meanings behind them. Empathy is another crucial trait. They should empathise with your experiences, validating your feelings and providing a compassionate environment where you feel understood and accepted.


Being present in the therapeutic process is also essential to look out for. This means the therapist engages with you in a meaningful way, fostering a collaborative environment rather than positioning themselves as the sole authority. They should encourage your active participation in exploring thoughts, emotions, and behaviours, guiding you towards insights and personal growth without imposing their own agenda or solutions. They also avoid making unrealistic promises or guarantees of specific outcomes, as therapy outcomes are highly individual and influenced by various factors. Instead, they focus on facilitating a supportive environment where you can explore, understand, and work through challenges at your own pace.


A common misconception I have come across is that people believe they go to therapy to get advice or a solution to their problems from their therapist. However, any qualified therapist will have been repeatedly told during their training that an effective therapist refrains from giving direct advice or directives. Instead, they facilitate their clients' exploration of issues, helping them uncover and understand their own thoughts and solutions. This approach empowers their clients to make informed decisions and changes in their lives. 


Finally, asking for and receiving feedback is another trait to look out for when choosing a therapist. A good therapist should be willing to adapt their approach based on your responses and needs. They recognise that therapy is a collaborative process that evolves over time, and they adjust techniques or interventions as necessary to better meet your goals. 


Piggy Bank and Calculator

Pricing


Therapists' fees can vary significantly, and while cost is an important consideration, it should not be the sole factor in choosing a therapist. Budget constraints are common, and it's prudent to find a therapist whose fees align with your financial capabilities. However, extremely low fees relative to the market average may raise concerns about the therapist's experience, qualifications, or the quality of service they provide. A therapist's fee typically reflects their training, experience, and expertise, so unusually low rates might suggest insufficient credentials or lack of professional development.

Conversely, opting for the most expensive therapist isn't necessarily advantageous either. Higher fees do not automatically equate to superior quality or effectiveness in therapy. It's crucial to balance cost considerations with the therapist's qualifications and suitability for your needs. Some therapists may offer sliding scale fees or accommodate different financial situations, so it's worth exploring these options if budget is a concern.

When evaluating a therapist's fees, consider their qualifications, professional memberships, and experience. These factors can provide insights into their expertise and commitment to professional standards.


Red Flag

Red Flags to Watch Out for


Understanding the qualities to seek in a potential therapist is crucial, but equally essential is recognising the red flags that signal unethical and unprofessional behaviour. Being aware of these can help you steer clear of potential negative experiences. Based on insights gathered from the Therapy subreddit I mentioned earlier, as well as situations that friends and acquaintances have brought to my attention, here are some of the most frequently experienced behaviours and qualities to watch out for:


Poor Communication: A therapist exhibits poor communication if they frequently interrupt you during sessions or fail to actively listen to what you're saying. Effective communication in therapy involves the therapist allowing you to express yourself fully and attentively engaging with your thoughts and emotions.


Lack of Empathy: This red flag manifests when a therapist appears disinterested, indifferent, or judgemental towards your experiences and emotions. Empathy is essential in therapy as it validates your feelings and fosters a supportive therapeutic environment where you feel understood and accepted.


Overly Directive: Therapists should guide you towards insights and personal growth without imposing their own agenda or solutions. When they overly push their own viewpoints or directives, rather than helping you explore and discover your own answers, it can hinder the therapeutic process and your autonomy in decision-making.


Inappropriate Self-Disclosure: While some degree of therapist self-disclosure can enhance rapport, sharing excessive or irrelevant personal information can detract from the focus of therapy and create discomfort. Therapists should maintain professional boundaries and ensure that self-disclosure serves therapeutic goals rather than their personal needs.


Overly Dependent Relationship: Therapy aims to empower you to develop self-awareness and coping skills. If a therapist encourages excessive dependency on them for decision-making or emotional support outside of sessions, it can inhibit your growth and independence.


Lack of Cultural Sensitivity: Effective therapy respects and integrates your cultural background and beliefs. A therapist's insensitivity or disregard for your cultural context can lead to misunderstandings, lack of trust, and ineffective treatment. Cultural sensitivity is crucial for establishing a safe and inclusive therapeutic environment.


Privacy and Confidentiality Breaches: Therapists are bound by ethical standards to maintain strict confidentiality regarding your sessions and personal information. Breaches of confidentiality, such as discussing your case or the cases of their other clients with you without consent or failing to secure your information, undermine trust and compromise your privacy rights.


Resistance to Questions: Therapists should welcome your questions as they demonstrate your engagement and desire for understanding. If a therapist is defensive, evasive, or unwilling to address your inquiries openly, it may indicate a lack of transparency or discomfort with accountability.


Last-Minute Cancellations: Consistency and reliability in therapy are crucial for progress and trust-building. Frequent last-minute cancellations without valid reasons disrupt continuity in therapy and can leave you feeling unsupported or disregarded.


Therapy Session

Conclusion


Choosing a good therapist is a significant decision that involves considering several important factors to ensure a positive therapeutic experience. As discussed in this article, when evaluating potential therapists, there are many areas to take into account before making your final decision. Firstly, while important, qualifications alone do not guarantee a good fit, they indicate a level of training and expertise that can contribute to effective therapy. Opting for a therapist registered with a professional body provides an additional layer of assurance, as it signifies adherence to ethical standards and a mechanism for accountability.


Personal fit is also paramount. Consider the therapist's personal philosophy, therapeutic methods, and approach to treatment. A good therapist will actively listen, show empathy, and involve you in the therapeutic process rather than dictating solutions. They should respect your autonomy and support you in exploring insights and solutions that resonate with your experiences and goals.


Cost is another practical consideration. While therapy fees vary, they should reflect the therapist's qualifications and expertise. Extremely low fees may raise questions about the therapist's experience or quality of service, while excessively high fees do not necessarily correlate with superior outcomes. Finding a balance between affordability and the therapist's qualifications is key.


Additionally, be mindful of red flags that may indicate unethical or unprofessional behaviour, such as poor communication, lack of empathy, or breaches of confidentiality. These behaviours can undermine the therapeutic relationship and hinder progress. Trust your instincts and be willing to seek alternative therapists if you encounter any concerning behaviours.


Remember, therapy is a collaborative journey, and finding the right therapist who respects your needs and fosters a safe, supportive environment is essential for achieving positive outcomes in your therapeutic journey.


Finally, to my fellow therapists reading this, please understand that I am not claiming to be the perfect therapist. This article is simply an opinion piece based on my observations and experiences, written with the intention of helping people achieve the best outcomes from therapy. It is not meant to insult or shame anyone. Our role as therapists is to support and guide our clients, and part of that responsibility includes holding ourselves accountable to our ethical standards and seeking self-improvement when necessary. If anything in this article offends you, I am truly sorry. Let’s remember to practise self-compassion as we continue to grow and refine our practice for the benefit of those we serve.


99 views0 comments

Comments


bottom of page